Getting to know your "gut" (instinct)

In an earlier blog post, I spent a little time talking though what life coaching is. (Check it out here) When reading it, you may have had the reaction a lot of people do to the idea that a coach doesn’t just hand out courses of action or step by step instructions for navigating a challenge… “What do you MEAN I know what to do? I am NOT the expert!”

But, trust me, you really do. You really are. Now, in some cases, that may mean you know you need to hire a plumber to fix your leaky faucet because your time is better spent elsewhere. In many cases, we are talking about the next best step you need to perform, or the next goal you need to set or pay attention to. Or which job offer to take. Or if it really is time to talk to your dad about his failing eyesight and driving at night. You know. You are the only one who can know, honestly.

Much of coaching work is about ‘clearing gunk’, as my coaching instructors called it. Getting a handle on the baggage, negative self-talk, procrastination, disconnection from our body, low confidence, lack of clarity and purpose, and all the so-many-other things we put in our own way of accessing the true knowing we all inately have.

Learning to know if that feeling in your gut is the nervous anticipation of asking the love of your life to marry you, the roiling anxiety of your body trying to tell you you are about to make the worst mistake of your life, or the inevitable result of the questionable street cart food you had for lunch is pretty darn important.

There are all sorts of tools and techniques useful in the process of finding that inner knowing amongst all the detritus accumulated in an eventful life. I can help with that. (Shameless coaching plug.) But I am going to give you the easiest and most impactful one right here. You can start today. In less than a minute. For free.

Meditate.

Seriously. Sit, in silent meditation. For as long as is reasonable. Everyday if you can (more than once if you need or like). If you know how and have just fallen off the wagon, get back on it. Pick a time of day, find someplace you can sit undisturbed, and do it. If you have never meditated before, or it’s been a long time- I would strongly suggest starting with an app on your phone and getting the basics down. It seems simple, but your mind is already going to turn up the volume on your internal chatter when you sit to meditate, and it is worth it to at least know you are ‘doing it right’ and that your struggle to sit with your own thoughts is legit, real, and exactly what is supposed to happen.

Oak is entirely free, Insight Timer has a free basic version, and Headspace is paid but provides really solid simple guidance. I have, and use, all three. There are a ton of other well reviewed apps available, from Calm, to 10% happier, and so on. My only caveat would be to focus on silent meditation, sitting with your breath and observing passing thoughts with equanimity. Do not start your meditation journey with a meditation ‘about’ something, where the guide is talking you through an external set of thoughts, teachings or pondering, often including a guided visualization. Those are great, and worth your time to pursue, if you are interested, but should be considered separate and apart from sitting in silence with yourself.

Start slow. Take the Intro course on the app, if they have one. 3-5 minutes to start. I would encourage you to work up to at least 20 minutes a day, at around the same time, every single day. And then be patient (which the meditation will help with, ha!) and watch all the subtle ways you get more connected to your grounded center, your innate knowing, your gut.